


Anti-Glenn Language

by RadioFreeHayden



Category: Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Child Neglect, Gen, a brief reference to underage substance use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29183445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioFreeHayden/pseuds/RadioFreeHayden
Summary: No one ever really says even half of what they mean.
Relationships: Glenn Close & Nicolas Close
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Anti-Glenn Language

No one ever really says even half of what they mean. It’s one of the first things Nick remembers learning, because it made him so mad. Glenn had been going on and on about the lyrical genius of some Green Day song, or whatever the fuck— “it’s actually really profound, when you look at the symbolism and the-the metaphors and all—shit, kid, I would have been a kickass English major if I hadn’t dropped out, you know that?”—and Nick complained.

“If that’s what they _meant_ , then why didn’t they just say so?”

“Because that’s the magic of music, baby!” Glenn had cheered, proceeding to launch into some long thing about how anyone can _tell_ you they’re sad, or angry, or conflicted, just by saying so, but if you can talk about anything _but_ what you mean and people get it anyway, that’s how you know you’re a fuckin artist.

Or something.

Glenn didn’t mention that that strategy carries over into non-art parts of life, too, but Nick picked that up on his own. Like, yeah, maybe Glenn doesn’t really say “I love you,” but he says “that’s my fucking kid!” with an excited smile, he says “hey, you’re smart, you can handle this, right?”, he says “don’t let it get you down, it’s just one day” and leaves another gift card in his hand when he’s having a bad time.

And Nick never says the words he means to, either. He’s fluent in Glenn, and it’s a skill he’s proud of. Or was proud of, anyway. It’s . . . hazier now.

It almost reminds Nick of that dumb infographic from PETA—the one that tells everyone to Stop Using Anti-Animal Language. Henry-Oak-ass “feed two birds with one scone” fuckery. It got turned into a meme instantly, as it should. It’s dumb shit that deserves to be clowned on. 

But yeah. There’s been an effort to Stop Using Anti-Glenn Language.

 **Instead of** “I didn’t actually get to go on that field trip, because you forgot to sign the permission form and I got in trouble because apparently my forgery skills are severely lacking, but yeah, I had a _great_ time doing busywork in Dr. Hejduk’s office all day,” **say** , “Yeah, man, it was epic. Tons of space ships and shit.” Stay up until 2 am practicing his signature over and over so it doesn’t happen again.

 **Instead of** “No, yeah, I learned how to cook after you left me with just ramen for 3 weeks and I got sick of it and ended up ruining at least three dishes by experimenting and trying to invent something that tastes decent,” **say** , “Oh, I just learned it from YouTube. It’s pretty good, right?” Be sure to throw in a casual shrug.

 **Instead of** “I’m watching everything you do to see if you’ll drop the chill rock n roll thing for half a second so I can safely let on how weird this place is and how bad I wanna go home, but I’m sure as hell not gonna initiate that conversation if you don’t give me a signal,” **say,** “It’s so cool how we’re on a first name basis now.”

**Instead of** “I’m fucking _scared_ , Dad,” **say** , “I’m cool, baby!” 

**Instead of** “In the time I spent with all our weird fucked-up grandpas and the days since then I’ve realized that you maybe didn’t do any of the things a dad is supposed to do and maybe my childhood is a little fucked up, actually, and I feel more alone than I’ve ever felt ever and maybe I _don’t_ want to go home but it might still be better than the alternative because what even _is_ the alternative—” **say nothing** , do nothing, silently curse the lack of weed in this stupid dimension and search desperately for a distraction.

Definitely don’t cry. 

You wouldn’t want to ruin the magic. 

**Author's Note:**

> obligatory note that I don't like the cast and don't really keep track of what they're up to these days but sometimes this world is a good setting for what I want to say, so. here we are.


End file.
